once I got surgery and I was on really strong medication and my mom was upstairs but I wanted soup so I got a pan (not a pot) and put the soup in and everything was going fine but once it was ready I decided to dump it on the ground instead of in a bowl and when i realized what I had done i sat down and cried and my mom came downstairs and saw me laying on the floor sobbing in a puddle of soup
she laughed so hard she had to run to the bathroom to avoid peeing in her pants
- student: hey government can I have some money to go to university
- uk government: sure here you go. you'll have to pay it back but only when you're earning £21,000+ a year, and if you don't pay it off after 30 years we'll just write it off, don't worry about it man
- scottish government: nah man just go to uni we ain't gonna charge you
- us government: no. you gotta pay it yourself. upfront. your parents have to save up from the moment you're born. good luck, fucker. you have six months after graduating to start paying loans so you better pray to fucking god and jesus that you have a well-paying job by then or be prepared to be fucked up the ass without lube.